Curse

Pry · May 11, 2012, 09:57 PM // 21:57

Hi there…

My name is James and I wanted to share something that I felt I had to. I am not sure why the urgency for me to tell this story has swelled inside me at this exact moment, but it just feels necessary. I do not even know if this is the right section to post this, but I am hoping you can forgive me if it is out of place.

As you can see, this is my first post here. However, Guildwars is not new to me, and this story hopefully explains how it has touched part of my life.

In april 2005, Guildwars was released. This is where my story begins..

By somehow, whether it had been a video online, or an article in a magazine, Guildwars popped into my life (I was 12 going on 13 at the time, and I HAD to have this game!) – the impact it brought with it on my life were definitely not anticipated. The morning after discovering Guildwars consisted of the usual daily routine of me leaving the house and meeting my best pal Scott to make our way to school. After this journey - which was full of me explaining how amazing and wonderful GW will be! - he quickly had the same passion for it, and we instantly knew it was our mission to travel along this adventure together. After months of waiting, and months of longing for Christmas to arrive, it finally came.

It was the best Christmas I have had in my life.

We played and played, all through the snowy December month, and further. However, as all good things do, it came to an end.

Back then, I did not have such a great computer, and my internet was that horrible Dial-Up connection (Yes, I still had that in ’06! Ha). This meant sessions of no longer 10 minutes without being disconnected, and the fun was gradually over-ridden by frustration at the machine. I was gutted. Although Scott said he’d wait for me, and despite a great sudden feeling of selfishness to accept this offer, I allowed him to “Go on without me!” . And go on he reluctantly did. I would join him occasionally to check how he was getting on but could not do much about actually playing it alongside him. This went on for months until FINALLY, my family decided that broadband was now worth it.

This news was incredible at the time, and I quickly rejoined the adventure with my companion. We played through together again, marvelling at the sheer significance and beauty of the world, and I will never forget the astonishment when I first realised: “Presearing is NOT the end of the game!?!?” (Ha!). I could go on and on about the countless adventures we had, including the 2 man trapping team we had together (both rangers, alike in so many ways), however it would be too much for my fingers to type. And so I will move on. I drifted away from the game. I cannot pinpoint the exact reason, and I cannot even think of a reason that could (or should) have allowed me to drift away from this adventure, and in part, drift away from my friend, but it happened. I have a feeling this had to do with my desire for popularity (for online gaming is not at the top of the ‘coolness’ chart), and I fell into the trap of changing who I was to become liked by people who I thought mattered at the time. This reason should not have allowed me to drift away, but it did – the biggest regret of my life.

Over the years, we remained friends (we still were best friends, and had school and the rest of life spent together), and sometimes we would dip back into the wonderful world of Guildwars; maybe after a wave of nostalgia hit one of us that quickly infected the other, and we just had to re-visit it. There were several of these journeys, and every one was as good as the last – it never lost that spark.

However, these visits also came to end.

Snapping quickly into the present, I am now 19 years old, and 2 years into a degree at my local university. I still live at home, and I am typing this on the very same computer I have described to you in this story. However, a lot has changed since those ‘golden years’ – for that is how they feel to me just now. Scott still lives at his home, walking distance away, however, he feels much further. I see and speak to him occasionally, and I feel a tinge of shame and a whole lot of regret when I do. He left school at the first chance, and got a job straight away, while I chose the opposite path and stayed in education to make it to university. This did not help our friendship. While I had made new groups of friends; Scott’s friends dwindled away. I kept telling myself that he still had several people to fall back on, but I genuinely think I just told myself to make it seem better that I had ditched him.. Scott has ended up going down a bit of a dodgy road, and also has switched from a game-loving guy into someone who seems to despise it. Whenever I see him I like to change the subject to our past (Nostalgia is an unmatched feeling), but he always states he has moved on from that time and shoots me down quite frankly.

Anyway, I guess the whole point of that was to explain how much Guildwars has affected my life in such a way – such an amazing way – and that at this moment in time, I wish nothing more than to get my best buddy back, and to have one last adventure in the beautiful world of the game. I realise this will probably not happen, and I realise that this is my own fault; but it saddens me nonetheless.
Although; I have managed to realise some positives from this. I realise that it has given me memories that can never be taken away from me and that I will cherish with my for the rest of my life. I feel I have reached a point in my life that I am now entering ‘the adult world’, and it is a time to get this off my chest and move on with things. Is there such a time? Who knows, but it feels right to me.
I know I am only 19, and this will probably seem so naïve to most of you, But I will tell you this: Don’t ever let anyone tell you what isn’t fun, and don’t ever change the way you are just to please others, and finally – don’t ever forget the ones close to you and the memories you have with them, for they will stay with you forever, and give great meaning to things that may not have had before.

I realise this is not the most greatly written piece of work, and probably not even regarded as good, but I felt it was something I needed to do, and if someone somewhere gains something from it then that is all a bonus. A lot of my life has revolved around this game, and decisions have been made involving this game that has changed the course of my life dramatically, and so I felt that I owed this to it.
Thank you, Guildwars. It has been ….special.

XaiXo · May 11, 2012, 10:13 PM // 22:13

You're not alone. Truly an experience, this game. Hopefully we'll see you in GuildWars 2.

Maybe Scott too.

Here's to GuildWars. It's been quite the ride.

Kityn · May 11, 2012, 10:25 PM // 22:25

Extremely well written and worth the read. It made me remember some of my best friends I have had over the years. I am now 42 and had many friends that are no longer in my life for various reasons. Most times it was due to no longer having the same interests or passions. But that is how life is.

Once in awhile we meet up with someone and it becomes a life long friendship. I share the same interests with these life long friends. Interests that will never change. We are all gamers. We have played many types of games and that is the glue that binds us. It keeps us together through thick and thin.

The friendships that did not last were based around interests that were only there for that time and we never shared any other interests. Time goes on and we make new friends.
I am sad to hear that you and your friend are going down different roads. It is painful but it is a normal thing. There is only so much you can do. A friendship goes both ways. You both have to meet in the middle. I believe you have done your part. Your friend will also have to do his.

You are young yet. You will meet new friends, ones that will share the same interests that you do. The ones that last for decades will be the ones that you least expect and will surprise you the most.

Ayuhmii Shanbwa · May 11, 2012, 10:27 PM // 22:27

nice story of life here

i learned in life that doing your own things is most important

i have only 1 rl friend left, who never abandonned me, even though i'm different (long story), the rest of em were just friends if they were bored, or needed me
so i live with just 1 good rl friend, and several internet friends ( not many of em in GW anymore, but still..) and i like this kinda life

anyway, its nice to see such stories, that someone learned about life and such
and yea, most friends disappear, as they have a more "serious" life
i know someone who acted like an older man since he got a gf/wife and child (even before his gf got pregnant he became a father-like), which i'd never do to friends... but thats me

coil · May 11, 2012, 11:29 PM // 23:29

mr james - be strong, be brave, be nice, and dont suck. this is what i do. gl & have fun

MithranArkanere · May 12, 2012, 01:10 AM // 01:10

You'll be back. Everyone's always back. I'm always at the gates, watching people passing by, and there's not a single one that wasn't back.

Your friend will be back too. It's just a matter of time, even if they clock has to go all the way to then end of time and start again.

Peace · May 12, 2012, 04:34 PM // 16:34

yes ? u called me !